Texas law, explained
The short answer
A parenting facilitator in Texas is a neutral professional, appointed by the court, who helps parents follow and carry out their existing custody order. Under Texas Family Code § 153.6051 and following, the facilitator's work is not confidential: the facilitator reports to the court as ordered and may testify. A parenting coordinator does similar work through confidential procedures. John B. Polk has served Dallas–Fort Worth co-parents in both roles since 2012, and many disputes settle in one or two Zoom meetings.
What a parenting facilitator does in Texas
A parenting facilitator helps parents who already have a custody order make it work. The court lists the facilitator's duties in the appointing order. Under Texas Family Code §§ 153.606 and 153.6061, those duties can include identifying the disputed issues, reducing misunderstandings, exploring options, helping parents comply with the possession and access order, and monitoring that compliance.
Typical issues are the ones that do not justify a new lawsuit but keep coming back: exchange times and places, holiday calendars, summer travel, school choices, activities, medical appointments and how the parents talk to each other.
The facilitator does not replace the judge. The court keeps exclusive power over conservatorship, child support and possession, and a facilitator cannot change any order (§ 153.6061(c) and (d)). What a facilitator can do is settle disputes about how the order is applied, quickly and at the kitchen-table level, before they turn into motions.
Parenting facilitator, parenting coordinator and mediator
The three roles are neutral, but they differ in what stays private and what reaches the judge.
- Parenting facilitator (Texas Family Code § 153.6051 and following): the process is not confidential. The facilitator keeps records the parents' attorneys can see, reports to the court as ordered, may recommend ways to carry out or clarify the existing order, and may be required to testify about those recommendations (§ 153.6083).
- Parenting coordinator (§ 153.605 and following): works through confidential procedures and follows the Texas Supreme Court's Ethical Guidelines for Mediators. The coordinator's report to the court is limited to whether coordination should continue (§ 153.608). A coordinator cannot also serve as the facilitator in the same case.
- Mediator: helps the parties reach a settlement of the issues in a pending case, usually in one session. See family law mediation.
Facilitation fits families who need someone with authority to make recommendations and report on compliance. Coordination fits families who will speak more openly when they know the conversations stay private. Your attorneys and the court decide which role fits the case.
What a session with John looks like, in person or on Zoom
Yes, John works with parents over Zoom, and he also meets in person at his Turtle Creek office in Dallas. Many co-parenting disputes he handles are settled in one or two Zoom meetings.
- John reads the court order and the appointment, and learns from each parent what the current dispute is.
- He meets with the parents, together or separately when safety or tension calls for it, and keeps the discussion on the child and on the order.
- He helps the parents reach a joint solution, or, as facilitator, makes a recommendation that stays within the existing order.
- Where the court has ordered it, he sends a written report, and any agreement is put in proper form by the parents' attorneys.
As facilitator or coordinator, John is neutral. He does not represent either parent and does not give either parent legal advice. Each parent can keep their own lawyer.
How to book John as parenting facilitator
Call 214-599-2020 or use the contact form. Parents can ask together, and attorneys can book John for their clients and propose him to the court. Both parents do not have to agree: a facilitator or coordinator is appointed by court order, which the court may enter on its own motion, on one parent's motion, or on both parents' agreement, after notice and a hearing (Texas Family Code §§ 153.605 and 153.6051).
John has practiced family law in Dallas for more than 25 years and has served Dallas–Fort Worth co-parents as facilitator and coordinator since 2012. He also refers families to therapists, co-parenting counselors and child development professionals when the conflict needs more than a neutral. For day-to-day messages between sessions, his CPiQ co-parenting tool builds on the same methods.
CPiQ, from John and Emily Polk
Between meetings: CPiQ
Paste a message before you send it. CPiQ, built on parenting-facilitation methods, suggests a calmer, child-focused version. Twenty short lessons help the change stick.
Questions people ask
What does a parenting facilitator do in Texas?
A parenting facilitator helps parents carry out an existing custody order. The facilitator works on the issues the court lists, such as reducing misunderstandings, solving disputes and monitoring compliance with the order. The process is not confidential, and the facilitator can report to the court and make recommendations to implement or clarify the order, but cannot change it.
Is a parenting coordinator different from a custody mediator?
Yes. A mediator helps settle the issues in a pending case, usually in a single session. A parenting coordinator works with the parents over time after there is an order, helping them follow it, and does so through confidential procedures under the Ethical Guidelines for Mediators. A parenting facilitator does the same kind of ongoing work without confidentiality.
Can a parenting facilitator help us avoid going back to court?
Often, yes. A facilitator can settle disputes about schedules, exchanges and decisions in a meeting instead of a hearing. A facilitator cannot change the order, so a real change in conservatorship, support or possession still needs the court.
How much does parenting facilitation cost in Dallas?
The cost depends on how often the parents need help, how many issues are open and whether reports or testimony are required. The appointment order or the parents' agreement sets who pays and in what share. Facilitation meetings are generally one hour, booked for one parent or for both parents together. Many disputes settle in one or two Zoom meetings, which keeps the time involved small.
Can a parenting facilitator help when we disagree about school decisions?
Yes. The facilitator first looks at who the order gives the right to make educational decisions, and whether that right is joint or exclusive. Within that framework, the facilitator helps the parents reach a decision, or recommends how to carry out the order, without changing who holds the right.
What if my ex and I argue about every medical decision for our child?
A facilitator can help you set a process for medical decisions: who schedules appointments, how information is shared, and how you consult before non-emergency care. The order still controls who decides. If one parent keeps ignoring the order, the facilitator's records and recommendations can help the court.
Can a parenting facilitator help with constant visitation disagreements?
Yes. Exchange times, holiday turns, travel and make-up time are among the most common facilitation issues. The facilitator helps the parents agree on how to apply the schedule they already have, but cannot rewrite the possession order.
How do I deal with a co-parent who refuses to respond to messages?
Keep your messages short, factual and about the child, and keep a record of them. If the order says how parents must communicate, a facilitator can set clear rules for response times and channels and monitor them. Tools such as CPiQ help keep messages calm and on topic.
Can we work with a parenting facilitator over Zoom?
Yes. John meets co-parents over Zoom as well as in person at his Turtle Creek office. Zoom also lets parents meet in separate rooms when that is safer or calmer.
Do both parents need to agree to use a parenting facilitator?
No. A Texas court can appoint a facilitator on its own motion or on one parent's motion, after notice and a hearing, if it finds a high-conflict case or good cause and that the appointment is in the child's best interest. Parents can also agree to one. A parent can object in writing based on family violence, which blocks the appointment unless the court finds the objection unsupported.
Can a parenting facilitator make recommendations to the court?
Yes, within limits. A facilitator reports to the court as ordered and can recommend ways to implement or clarify the existing order, consistent with its intent and the child's best interest. The recommendations cannot address conservatorship, possession or access, and they do not change the order.
Who helps high-conflict divorced parents communicate better in Dallas?
Parenting facilitators, parenting coordinators, co-parenting counselors and therapists all do this work. Look for someone who knows Texas custody orders and stays neutral. John B. Polk has served Dallas–Fort Worth co-parents as facilitator and coordinator since 2012. Call 214-599-2020 to book.
How can I communicate with my ex without every conversation turning into a fight?
Keep every message about the children, short and in writing, and handle one issue at a time. Write the way you would to a colleague: the facts, the request, the deadline, and nothing about the past or the other parent's character. Agree on one channel for co-parenting messages, give yourself time before you reply to anything that makes you angry, and save disagreements for a set time instead of the school pickup. Tools such as CPiQ help by rewording heated messages before they are sent, and when the same arguments keep coming back, a parenting facilitator can help the two of you set rules and settle disputes without going back to court.
